A New Piece of Thought

Wrote this six years back.... 

Still feels fresh in the senses... 

Happy New Year 😁

Whatever is new, it should be inside you.

In what you seek and what you do.

In all that came and all that went

In everything that tried to blow off your tent

A tent that you made, with joy in some glade.

A glade that was free, something new that you could see.

Where the space was free for all, there were trees that stood tall.

Remember those trees forever, as they guarded you from the weather.

A weather you could hardly bear, a storm not willing to spare.

The slope was steep, but the trees were rooted deep.

A depth that was defining, 

for you to understand the shining.

The sparkling bright shine of the sun,

bright from the time known to none.

Remember the squirrels who told you to keep going on,

for there is no time in this life to stop and mourn.

Because when there is night there shall be a day

That's how nature has defined it's way.

You have to keep walking the road unmatched

Stop worrying about the nuts you couldn't catch.

For there will be a time for sure, when you will find a way ashore.

The right path is your choice though, just walk it easy and let it go.

Remember for sure what the clouds said, this life isn't a feathery bed.

You will find winds and fires around you.

There will be times when there's very meager you can do.

But never give up or lose your hope, 

for you should remember there will always be a scope.

A scope that will make you see things, 

This scope will tie you with some strings.

These strings will become ropes that's for what they are meant.

These ropes will be long and strengthen your tent.

This tent is your life. Give it your all.

Always try to rise,in stead of worrying about the fall.

Having said that, you must remember.

Time and tides are said to wait never.

The time to come shall pass you by.

But what you do new should give you joy.

A joy, that you have never felt.

A joy for others who have never dealt.

Because with every moment passing on,

Yet another year will be gone.

Then there will be a recurrence of a point.

Where new and old get joint.

For this was the same point, where it all started,

Although only some time has departed.

This is not the time to regret, don't refrain

and rather think about all this again

Because, Whatever is new, it's gotta be inside you

In what you seek and what you do.

In all that came and all that went

In everything that tried to blow off your tent.

-Aishwariy

Burning Out

So much has happened since the fall

Losing on, I might have dropped the ball

The past keeps lingering on my mind

Gotta hold on to something, anything worthwhile I could find

Realize this every day and every night

No strong will to fight

Guess I am just burning out

Time and again losing this bout

Guess I am just burning out

Tear drops in silence no one can hear me shout

I have some memories but I want them to faint.

Just vanish away, and leave no taint

Because all this was not planned for me

But screw the plans it was destined to be

I may be caught in a blank stare

As the head keeps boiling in its own flare

Guess I am just burning out

Time and again losing this bout

Guess I am just burning out

Tear drops in silence no one can hear me shout

When I started off I gave away my all

But was later instructed to start small

Broke what I thought was my Porcelain doll

It's a choice I made after all

Made this error and lost my prime

Now have to make up for the lost time

Guess I am just burning out

Time and again losing this bout

Guess I am just burning out

Tear drops in silence no one can hear me shout

How do I figure my tunnel which ends in light?

How do I get through this freakish dark night?

Should I just sit and sulk in my sorrow?

Or should I just wait until dawns in MY tomorrow?

Have I become Ophelia in my life's play?

Wasn't I the one who had dragons to slay?

Guess I am just burning out

Time and again losing this bout

Guess I am just burning out

Tear drops in silence no one can hear me shout

There have been moments I have been smitten

By frost of regrets I have been bitten

Maybe there's still time to hope

I may find some way just to cope

Till then, the darkness is mine for a rebound

Circles of hell light bright in the background

Guess I am just burning out

Time and again losing this bout

Guess I am just burning out

Tear drops in silence no one can hear me shout

Inspired from and Collaborated with the works of this insanely talented friend.

Cruising Alone

Ad Hoc

Imma run away some day

To some place very far away.

Just to change it all the way

Hearing what all they had to say.

I've slept too long, that I am bed ridden

I wanted so much of all that was hidden

A potential to gain, but the path was forbidden

Left with a ticket at the bus stop to a different destination.

A destiny that was unknown, on which I scfoffed.

With a sudden hit of reality, for survival I morphed.

When it all happened, no one saw it for what it was.

Everyone was busy battling their own cause.

doI do now? Should I just curl and cry?

Or rather should I mourn the dream that had to die?

Is it really worth wasting time on all that is lost?

Is it really important to pay that cost?

I choose to stand up. Stand up again and Battle.

No begging for mercy now, but some compassion maybe a little.

I choose to write my destiny with these bare hands.

Can't trust others anymore who keep turning their stands.

It all happened to eary, being put on a pedastal.

They knew I'd break soo, and in the shrads of the crystal,

They saw the broken dream, the hope that was shattered.

They knew what to do but no one thought it mattered.

Though now that I have decided to dirt off my shoulders,

I don't care for no paths, let them be full of boulders.

Because it's me who is choosing to run on those roads.

It's me who will decide for my sea, what will be the shores.

And this time I trust myself to not give it all away.......

Imma run away some day.

To a place far far away.

Just to change it all the way.

Hearing what they all had to say.

-Aishwariy

It's All in the head.

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

You must've hit a high. But now when you are down and low,

You let out a cold sigh, thinking how did it all get so slow?

You remember the old times when it all used to be perfect.

All the happiness you enjoyed, and small pains you could neglect.

While murdering the time when it was abundant you missed an under-tone

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

The success had faded a long time back, you were living in an illusion.

It was wilful, not involuntary, the chosen sad state of delusion.

They asked you to stitch it in time and save the other nine.

But you didn't stop your high horse, blindly consoling, It will all be fine.

And now that it all shatters, bringing you in this risky zone,

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

Although the sun disappears by the night it does rise again the next day.

Continuity keeps prevailing in its own constant and subtle way.

Maybe you did get fooled by ignoring the dimension of your time instants?

Just in case it helps, "They're limited.", with very few other constants.

You could've spent them all on the skills and virtues you could hone.

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

You have to seek the clarity, disparity you gotta let go.

For all the things that you gotta do, you have to make it a point to show.

As the rabbit didn't win the race because it stopped before the finish line.

Be the rabbit but don't stop, because that is the only way you can shine.

Challenges are not just yours. They are faced by everyone you've ever known.

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

Does progress make you complacent? A disaster while moving ahead!!

Why don't you just make a deal with your conscience, instead?

Teach your head to not stop at progress, but to keep running until no more it can sweat.

Because its a situation, where you yourself are your biggest threat.

It always was and always will be the mental mettle that has to be shown.

Nobody is gonna fight your battles if you don't fight your own.

In the midnight near the Tree.

In this midnight hour of panic,

Near a nostalgic site volcanic,

I stand next to this leafless tree,

Which has been running long on an autumn spree,

This tree whose seed I sowed in zeal,

A choice I was too eager to reveal,

Everything was good, but then this sudden upheaval,

The future had with it Reality to unveil

But what is future? Isn't it just a reflection?

Correct or Incorrect? Isn't it the matter of selection?

Because no one ever called upon themselves the storms,

But still they were chased in all different forms,

So this sapling which was young, got to know early what struggle is,

And it knew how to hold its ground and still stood strong in the debris

Damages are relative, and that's the tautology of life.

However long you run, still you have to face the strife.

Most of these storms are connected deeply.

The hill from here goes up very steeply.

If one slow's down, they may topple and fall,

If they go fast, they'll surely ruin it all.

While climbing up this hill, the sapling grew strong

Fighting the erosion of time, it defeated all the wrong.

Survival is something that's not invoked, it  kicks in.

If you fall down you, stand back up with an urge from within.

The way the soul works is pretty simple.

The mind just makes a move to create a ripple.

A wave it creates which provokes you to fight.

A wave that calms you down at the same time to hold on tight

In this delicate overlap of these impulses,

You'd find the rhythm of your pulses.

Its not the always the sounds, but the silence that matters.

Because a dream acts really quiet when it shatters.

To pick up the pieces and glue them together

Seems to be the only way that will make it all better.

It has worked in the past once, maybe it will work this time too.

And once again, you'll have to be quick in what you do.

Because this time again the tide wont wait for you, you know

But you will be well aware of the constraints in which you'll have to show.

For the spring is soon to come, and the leaves will be all green.

It'll surely be refreshing to see the rejuvenating scene.

Midnight Rant: Dealing with a Spinning head.

The conscience is blank. As blank as it could be.

Cant remember the last time something was "how it should be".

Expectations were never a forte ever.

But the changes did have their own fervor.

Its important to move on from what "could've been",

And look forward into the reality that shall now be seen.

But its an infinite loop of images flashing fast.

Some images known and others just feelings that as an image, cant be cast.

An image full of vibrant colors,

but having cracks because of all the tremors.

The head starts spinning from right when it all went south,

to when you wanted to say a lot but just couldn't open your mouth,

To every inch of unresolved doubt,

Closure isn't probably all this is about.

Its more about the imagery that remains uncertain.

The prize that was behind the other curtain.

Then there is a realization amidst the alleged pain,

It was your choice to choose the curtain with a stain.

Although some images can never be retained,

Just because at the right time, they never pertained.

Some loss in transition is indispensable.

Some transitions can be tough but never abominable.

the mind accomplishes some limits where comprehension fails.

Its a spinning head, it can't walk straight on rails.

It has to go in circles round the streets where it shouldn't have been.

Across all the images that need to be forgotten and rendered unseen.

Through all the instances you would prefer to call as destiny.

But this open trespassing is the brain's usual mutiny.

The wound seems internal, something that you could fake.

But pretensions of not having it at all are easier for everyone to take.

It sounds so bad, is it really this tragic?

Is it time to give up and believe in some magic?

Magic is not a myth, it does happen several times.

Not every magic can convert your cents to dimes.

But is it too early to believe that its all over?

Or too late to understand that it cannot go any lower?

Time too is money, but it is rather just a reference.

Something that can patch everything or create all the difference.

Its said for consolation though,to "give it some time".

Some consolations are sufficient indeed. just like this rhyme.

Its a new day every time you wake.

You have everything in the world to take.

It might be hard and it could be unbearable.

It may also sometimes be simply "un-shareable".

It sounds like some excruciating pain.

But its your head! So your own responsibility to contain.

Just ask it simply to take a break for the day.

And give it some rest for the next if you may!.

And after the rest you need not tell anyone you haven't slept.

Just laugh it off saying you overslept.

Because its not just the head that is spinning, its your thoughts too.

A blur that is there which you just can't shoo.

But right after the reboot on waking up you realize, 

it was just a bad dream not at all a big surprise.

Its better to deal with all the baggage before it will clutter.

Not all the bad dreams will last forever.

Rather than pondering upon the mess that you've made,

You need to find a way out because its a maze that you've made.

Howsoever the painting be, you made it so hang it on the wall.

Its just a matter of perspective. Just have a Look! Its not that bad after all.

-Aishwariy

Pieces

When you were running out looking for peace

But find yourself in pieces

When you think you've lost your niche

Buried down under all cliches

When the links were all broken

Loosing all the tokens

Making it look like it was meant to be!

whereas It was an attempt to set yourself free.

It was all about the things that were never talked out loud.

It was all about the stings whose healing wasn't allowed.

The pain was thought to be temporary

and was assumed to be necessary

For all that was to be done wasn't for someone else's sake.

Whatever was to be done was for getting over that one mistake.

The one mistake that will always keep you fretting

The one that no one will ever be forgetting

The one that wasn't worth all the sweating

The one that occurred by not reacting.

All you wanted was for them to endorse.

But instead you ended up with a deep remorse.

A remorse in which anyone would engross.

It was a forfeit! not something you fought with force.

You may find it smooth to give up, leave the fight.

It may look easy to do, but is not that right.

It may look too gloomy but it could be bright.

Maybe if you keep going, it will get allright.

Because a mistake isn't really meant to define you.

But all it does is refine you.

A cleaner version of yourself shines in the mirror.

A brighter light reflects with vigor.

Because every broken piece that you found has to be mended.

Its your life and you know it has to be amended.

Its natural if some pieces are no more a fit.

And that's why you have your mind, a toolkit.

Some pieces need to be filed and fixed.

Be careful this time, they shouldn't be mixed.

The mistake you made was an expectation.

A new mistake but not beyond your creation.

You were expected to make it, thus an error by choice.

You chose to expect thus an error of choice.

But there is only one thing to keep the stone turning.

Whatever may come ahead, never stop learning.

And all the regret you keep, and all that remorse

Shall fade away maybe, with time of course.

And the glue of learning that you used to stick those pieces,

May make the "peace" permanent and could even correct your glitches.

-Aishwariy

A Little Girl

I once knew a little girl

Who seemed to be obsessed with Pearls.

No matter how the sea would whirl

She would try to go deep with a swirl

One night when the moon was nice and bright,

But still there wasn't enough of light,

To see what the sea held at its shore,

The girl didn't know what for her was in store.

The sand on the beach, a shell it held

Ecstatic was how the girl had felt.

Another pearl for the collection she thought,

Certainly cannot leave it here to rot.

But she didn't know it really well,

how carrying herself away could unleash hell,

Because the Shell Opened for once and for all,

And engulfed the girl, she couldn't even call.

What, when ,where ,whom to tell?

There was no one to hear her yell.

She was probably turned into a churl.

That's how Once I knew a little girl,

Whose soul found fatal, her obsession with pearls.

Inspired from this lovely piece : http://cruisingalone.blogspot.in/2016/09/a-little-boy.html

-Aishwariy

The Escape through a Landscape

Sitting by the window, gazing through the diaphanous drape

Meditating on the squirrel's half-eaten grape,

Undeterred by the tree that was completely out of it's shape,

Someone was planning her great escape.

It was not as easy as it seemed to be,

Maybe it wasn't even meant to be.

But what kept the mind busy

was it's determination to be completely free

A resolution was passed with all the might

"No one would find me! Let it just for once be night

I have had enough of all this fight!!".

But howsoever small it was, there was a small plight

Because she knew that escaping was not right.

She would savour the taste of which later, It wasn't such a bite.

And it was nowhere near dark yet, the day was still bright.

A tug of war was on, between courage and fright.

The conscience's fight was brilliantly being fought.

With great conquests achieved, the heart was also not easy to be caught.

It was not at all a new agony that was brought.

Amidst all this there was a part of her that was distraught.

Claims of sanity were proving to be fake

It was all to much to be kept at stake

"What if destiny was pre-determined? and it wasn't something I could make?"

"What is going to be left for me finally to take?"

These questions had already kept her for three nights, Awake!!.

She was always taught about the final call that could make or break.

She remembered, "To make such decisions you should be placid like a lake."

She soon realized the importance of this utterance, making this choice was not a piece of cake.

Suddenly a thought came across and she felt beaten

"What if I also leave the grape like the squirrel?; half-eaten"

And suddenly the tree caused the hope to lessen 

"What if complete freedom leads me to 'something' that must not happen?"

And as quickly as these thoughts were initiated, they were in the very next moment equilibrated

All the sufferings released, all confusions gone,every doubt & all the pain abated.

The squirrel was back for the half-eaten grape, which wasn't something she had expected,

And then a bird flew back to her nest on the skew branch of that tree, she felt elated.

Although not everything is in it's place right now, but there will be a day for sure,

When all of this will seem to be a bliss and stopping is never the cure.

When the situations are compelling, it becomes easy for "lets-run-away" to lure.

And one moment of clarity, could bring back your parity, it is "lets-run-away" that you abjure.

Amidst all these thoughts when the sun gave-in for the day.

And the moon embedded itself in the dark night's drape.

Running away now felt funny to say

As she already had her escape...

through the landscape.  

-Aishwariy

आज़ादी ?

आज आज़ादी को उनहत्तर  साल पूरे हुए हैं । देश में जश्न का माहौल होना चाहिए। आज़ादी है भई ! आसानी से थोड़े  ही मिलती  है। और फिर बात भी हो रही है तो "भारत" की आज़ादी की । ऐसा देश जिसे प्रगतिशील देशों में एक युवा देश के रूप में देखा जाता है । और फिर जब युवा ही देश में बहुसंख्यक हों तो आज़ादी की बात पर जश्न मनना तो बनता है । ऐसे युवा जिन्हें देश की महानता पर कोई शक या शंका नहीं है, और न ही शंका है अपनी आज़ादी पर। फिर भी कुछ चीजें मजबूर करती हैं ये सोचने पर कि आखिर आज़ादी है क्या?

कुछ प्रश्न.....

क्या सड़क पर पान की पिचकारी मार पाना आज़ादी है? या दूसरों को पिचकारी मारने से मना करना आज़ादी है? या दूसरों की पिचकारी को विवश होकर झेलना आज़ादी है?

क्या चौराहे पर यातायात सिग्नल का पालन करना आज़ादी है ? या सिग्नल को तोड़ देना आज़ादी है? या सिग्नल का पालन कर रहे व्यक्ति के पीछे खड़े होकर बार बार हॉर्न बजा कर उसे सिग्नल तोड़ने के लिए विवश करना आज़ादी है?

क्या उसी सिग्नल पे छोटे बच्चे को फटे हाल स्थिति में अखबार बेचते देखना आज़ादी है ? या उस बच्चे के द्वारा अखबार बेचा जाना आज़ादी है ? या उस बच्चे का पढ़ने-लिखने की उम्र में पेट भरने के लिए ऐसे काम करने को विवश होना आज़ादी है ?

क्या उसी अखबार में छपी एक बाढ़ की खबर को पढ़ना और उसे नज़रअंदाज़ कर देना आज़ादी है ? या उस बाढ़ को इसलिए नज़रअंदाज़ करना क्योंकि उसे दूरदर्शन पर नहीं दिखाया गया, आज़ादी है ? या समाचार चैनलों का उस खबर को तूल ही न देना आज़ादी है ?

क्या उसी समाचार चैनल पर, चैनल द्वारा कुछ लोगों  की चिल्ला-चोट को प्रसारित कर पाना आज़ादी है ? या उस चिल्ला-चोट में भाग लेने वालों का आपस में हाथापाई कर पाना आज़ादी है ? या उन चैनलों पर समाचारों के स्थान पर सास बहु और साज़िशों के बारे में देखना, दिखाना आज़ादी है ?

क्या उसी टी.वी. के किसी चैनल पर अंधविश्वासों से भरा कोई कार्यक्रम देखना आज़ादी है ? या उस चैनल का उस कार्यक्रम को प्रसारित कर पाना आज़ादी है ? या उस कार्यक्रम को देखकर अन्धविश्वास जाग्रत करना आज़ादी है ?

क्या उन अंधविश्वासों से प्रेरित होकर उनका पालन करना आज़ादी है ? या उन अंधविश्वासों का विरोध करने वाले किसी व्यक्ति की हत्या करना आज़ादी है ? या उस व्यक्ति की हत्या के विरोध में दिए हुए सम्मान को लौटना आज़ादी है ?

क्या सोशल मीडिया पर अपने विचार व्यक्त कर पाना आज़ादी है ? या उन विचारों से आहात होकर विचार व्यक्त करने वाले को  हवालात की सैर करवाना आज़ादी है ? या बिना किसी ताथ्यिक पुष्टि के सोशल मीडिया पर  किसी भी पोस्ट को सच मान लेना आज़ादी है ? 

क्या उसी सोशल मीडिया पर चिर-विरोधी नेताओं का एक दूसरे की भर्त्सना कर पाना आज़ादी है ? या उन नेताओं के कार्य क्षेत्र में उनका विरल ही शक्ल दिखाना आज़ादी है ? या उन नेताओं का साधारण जनता को रिश्वत देने के लिए विवश करना आज़ादी है ?

क्या उन नेताओं का संवाददाताओं द्वारा पर्दाफाश कर पाना आज़ादी है? या उन संवाददाताओं द्वारा सत्य को छुपा पाना आज़ादी है? या उन संवाददाताओं द्वारा बाढ़ पीड़ितों से संवेदनहीन होकर पूछना कि "आप कैसा महसूस कर रहे हैं ?" आज़ादी है?

क्या सेना के प्रयासों का श्रेय नेताओं के द्वारा ले लिया जाना आज़ादी है? या सेना के द्वारा मारे गए आतंकी की मौत पर जनता का मातम मनना आज़ादी है? या मातम मनाते हुए, जाना द्वारा सेना पर ही पथराव कर देना आज़ादी है?

क्या धर्म के नाम पर देश को माँ का दर्ज़ा न देना आज़ादी है? या देशभक्ति के भाव को पूर्णतया एक ही वाक्यांश से जोड़कर देखना आज़ादी है? या उसपर धार्मिक सियासत खेलना आज़ादी है ?

क्या किसी पशु विशेष का मांस खा पाना आज़ादी है ? या उस पशु विशेष के मांस को ग्रहण करने वाले को स्वायत्त होकर मृत्यु दंड दे  देना आज़ादी है ? या किसी पशु विशेष को धर्म से जोड़ना आज़ादी है ?

हम आज़ाद हैं.....  सच में ???

"हम आज़ाद हैं" बोलना आसान है, और सुनने में भी अच्छा भी लगता है।  लेकिन ये वाक्य २ प्रश्न उठता है।  जिसमे से एक के "उत्तर" में ऊपर कुछ प्रश्न आप पढ़ ही चुके हैं, और जो दूसरा प्रश्न है, वो है कि "हम" में कौन आता है?

भौतिक रूप से हर भारतवासी परतंत्र नहीं है । भारत एक स्वतंत्र देश है ।और इसी परिभाषा से हर भारतवासी स्वतंत्र देश का नागरिक है। लेकिन आज़ादी कभी भी केवल भौतिक नहीं हो सकती। आज़ादी व्यक्ति के मन से होती है, और विचारों से भी।  वैचारिक आज़ादी के बगैर यदि कोई मनुष्य स्वयं को आज़ाद मानता है, तो यह केवल एक विरोधाभास से बढ़कर और कुछ नहीं। 

परतंत्र होने के पहले हमारे पास भौतिक रूप से आज़ादी तो थी और वैचारिक रूप से भी। लेकिन इन दोनों के हनन के पश्चात और आज़ादी के लिए पुनः लड़ने के उपरांत जो आज़ादी हमारे लिए हमारे देश के बलिदानी वीरों ने जीती उसे हमने केवल भौतिकता की जंजीरों में जकड़ा हुआ छोड़ दिया है, और वैचारिक स्वतंत्रता से देश का आम नागरिक अभी भी दूर ही प्रतीत होता है।  

वैचारिक स्वतंत्रता के आने के बाद भी सब कुछ सही हो जाएगा ऐसा नहीं है। लेकिन वैचारिक स्वतंत्रता का क्रियान्वन बदलाव लाएगा, इस बदलाव के लिए महत्वपूर्ण कदम वैचारिक बंधनों की ज़ंजीरों को तोड़ना है। फिलहाल , समय की मांग है वैचारिक स्वतंत्रता से क्रांति लाने की। जब तक  स्वतंत्रता के साथ वैचारिक स्वतंत्रता का मिलाप नहीं होगा, तब तक दो ही प्रश्नों पर हम फंसे रह जाएंगे,  क्या हम आज़ाद हैं ? और अगर हैं भी तो इस आज़ादी के मायने आखिर हैं क्या? और फिर वो आज़ादी भी आज़ादी कैसी, जो चंद  प्रश्नों के भी उत्तर न दे पाए। 

और हाँ.... स्वतंत्रता दिवस की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं....... :D  

-ऐश्वर्य 

A Selfish Post

There is nothing new in this post. The thing that this post is about is something way too sensitive to just write a post about. A mere post is nothing that can change the thing that needs to be changed. This mere post cannot even be a prelude to initiate the change that needs to be initiated. It is also not sufficient to even make people remember this thing. Mostly people do remember this thing but tend to clear their buffers and fill them with stuff within their reach. No hard feelings against this tendency. It's only natural to do so. So, after mentioning of the futility of this post, you might be wondering why am I even writing this post, the title says it all. It's a selfish post to let it all out from the inside to make some space. After all there is nothing too old in this post either.

A group of people united together to call themselves "Students" in some other language, in some nation near our country, some 2-3 decades ago. This group was a fighter for the people from amongst the people against the invaders who were trying to plunder their homeland. This group was supported by other neighboring countries as well. Then there was a time when this group used to do what was right and this was intended as well. But it couldn't handle the momentum of power and swayed away from it's path. Main reason being the lack of proper EDUCATION among the students. This irony is just way too baffling. By now if you are feeling that these statements are some figment of fiction, some stories of some alien colonies from out of the world (which I know you didn't think.. I just wanted to make the post a bit "Universal" :P ), then let me take you back to the small continent of Asia (a small part of the Universe), where we can find the group of students in the country of Afghanistan, called Taliban.

Now coming to the reason of writing this thing up. Few days ago Amjad Sabri a Qawwal of the league of the great Sabri brothers was shot dead. Cause of this shooting was pertaining to blasphemy. Responsibitity of this was taken by the TTP. The Pakistani version of this group of students, which is just a duplication of the original gone wrong, like real real bad. So, singing something contextually religious and getting yourself killed for it by the alleged religious police of your place is not "Ironic" if you are the followers of different religions. But a paradox creeps in when you two follow the same religion. When a crowd is under educated and is given a gun, every thing that they can't do or they don't like becomes blasphemy for them. Apparently, they get so despised by the blasphemy of others that they kill them. And then after killing the people they get so despised by their own sins that they try yo kill everyone around them and themselves as well.

Being a big fan of Sufi music and Qawwali personally, it feels strange when someone who was just expressing his feelings of gratitude and faith in his Lord gets killed, just because his prayers were awesomely musical. It is futile to try and find logic in these activities, because there isn't any. The root cause for all this seems to be only one. "MISINTERPRETATION". When you are not capable enough to understand what meaning has to be taken up from whatever is written in whichever holy book, you shouldn't be expected to not pick up a gun or not be a suicide bomber or not kill innocent children in a school just because they were kids of some army officials, who were stopping you to do stupid things and killing the ones of your own kind. Or maybe on some other day you shouldn't be expected to just  not start firing in some place full of people because you are a trained homophobe and others present there are not, and justify the act in the name of God. The instances to name are many.

All in all the point is that a bad seed can never bear a tree with good fruits. And, it's nobody's fault as well. But, to check this prevailing ignorance among people, the need is to make the understanding and interpretation of the right meaning of whatever is wrongly understood by them. But to do that could again be blasphemy, and maybe some other crime as well in the "Misinterpreted Dictionaries" that are already there. 

There is only one solution again.. Quality Education. 

That's it.. Everything's pretty much out for now.. Thanks for reaching till the end :P

-Aishwariy

Insomnia

Completely random thoughts surround the mind under the cover of a deep sleep.The sleep may neither be sound, nor be fulfilling, because of numerous factors. Be it the situation in which sleep was attained, or because of the thoughts that surrounded and sabotaged the sleep, disguised under the masks of the gentle soothers, stabbing in the back with the knives of vulnerabilities and insecurities. The sleep may sure as hell be sound and normal as well. (discussing that would defeat the purpose of this blog. :P)

It could be a small memory, (not quantitatively, explained later), that decreases the randomness of the thoughts, applying constraints over the wild sea of the synaptic misfires that are making the (mis)connections, leading to a feeling of detachment from the senses, completely making you let go of the petty situation in which the sleep was attained, and taking you away from the very surroundings of the dim lit space in which you found yourselves just after you slithered into the sleep, completely unaware of what memories are going to create a web of constraints into your gullible head that you are going to interpret as a dream. But it is the lack of sleep that leads to the misfiring neurons. The sole reason for why sometimes the real world and your dreams seem to combine together to form a hybrid and delusional world for you. May be the concept of Deja Vu is also in some way related to this hybrid world, where nanoseconds start making the difference and you can't even realize that what you just saw and feel that it had happened earlier but it didn't really happen earlier.

When I woke up in the train, all of a sudden, travelling all alone in a train for the first time, frankly speaking I was rattled. I do have various theories for that(Most of the times I do.. :P), one of them being the sleeplessness from the last two nights. The day of the first night, was taken away by the Minor Project Report. And then the partial night by mulling over the project. The rest of the night was still a part where I don't understand the decision I made completely. On the surface, staying the night at the Hostel was to avoid sleeping while driving back home (Believe me!! I really could.. :P) on the advice of some wise friends.(Guys!! Comment if you read this :P). Then the next day, after submission of the project in the morning, there was something dragging me away from home, it could have been the usual procrastinative surge, but actually it wasn't. It was some other mechanism, trying to avoid anything that could turn into anything overwhelming. The mechanism backfired anyways, because two almost full days in the College which you are about to leave in less than another year can't be less overwhelming than anything. The true reasons were actually quite surprising. Anyway, being rattled no more appeared to be just some co-incidence, but it seemed more like a choice that I had made, maybe because I tried running away, as staying could have been "overwhelming"(yeah right :P).

Suddenly a man passed and I tried to match his face in the databases. But the query returned a tuple of NULL values. And that was the moment I got the connection to my senses back, which made me realize, this null value phenomenon was going to be a substantial part for the next few days. After being awoke when I went to wash my face, It was probably for the first time, when I was happy to see a face that was familiar. So happy that I had a smile on my face (No kidding). It was something I couldn't comprehend then and right now as well. But maybe somethings are better when left unexplained and kept safe in the repositories of unmatched experiences.

-Aishwariy

The Strange Choice

For Every break through You were broken thorough.
With every big blow, you were taken down deep below.
Because all the assaults were below the knees,
And there wasn't anyone to listen to your pleas.
Because messing up everything was an art you mastered.
Because you sought more than what you could foster.
For you crossed so many lines that you apparently lost the count.
You could only wish you could set a recovery point just before the unmount.

When your decision was clouded you made a strange choice,
A choice that no one could ever accept and rejoice.
The assault was planned but was still spontaneous,
The arrow could have been blunt but it was mordacious
Twas A choice you repent and shouldn't have made
Twas A choice you know, did cut through like a blade
And you are left with memories which you never want to fade

Was there really a need to come up with a reason?
A reason that everyone else thought as a treason!!
For breaking the trust of the few who trusted you
For making them believe it wasn't a wise choice they made "for" you
Now the only Knight who can fight for yourself is you.
The only fight you have to win is inside of you.
When the chips are down, it melts down to what should have been done by you

Silence is voracious, It engulfs all the peace
The head starts to spin and all of a sudden does freeze
The thoughtless void inside generated the devil in the first place
But you made the choice to not control it, and fell sorely from grace
The "could be"s are an infinite possibility,
You need to move ahead to maintain the continuity.
A continuity which will never be the same,
Because you will remember you lost something that wasn't just a game

You were given all the chances to take a stand
But you didn't stand by them and took an errand
Because the timidity that infiltrated you could never leave
And you still wonder from where you got it up your sleeve
Now it's hard even for yourself to decide what exactly you do believe
You knew it all and made a wrong move, was it on purpose?
Because you knew you were jumping the gun and you knew it was dangerous.

They call it Deja Vu when they see it all happen again
But there isn't any time to remain blinded and be in pain
For the best healer is time, it has it's strange ways
The unsaid will be understood. It's just a matter of days
But it doesn't mean you shouldn't ever give it your best try,
The only thing to give into your vacillating mind to fry
Is to keep a track of things how you could've made right,
Because there will always be a day, however long be the night.

-Aishwariy

Juvenile ?

There is a buzz about India these days, that India is a country of the youth. The young population being very large in numbers and promising at the same time is considered to denote energy, and novel thoughts and perceptions for the country. A whole new horizon is in sight and with everyone being so enthusiastic, a new dawn awaits. This phase comes and goes for every country and may also be called one of the most efficient times for a country. Although it's a surety that this phase will pass, apparently for India this phase will pass much more quickly. Why? just for a simple reason. That is the increase in the mental maturity of the youth. Or at least what the Youth thinks as "Maturity". It seems the youth is in the 'self- destruct' mode of "Development". (pun intended)

Two quick facts:
The rate of suicide among senior secondary students has increased. Crimes committed by "Juveniles" are increasing, which has even led the Court to pass a verdict on the trial of a Juvenile as an adult as per how heinous the crime was. These are some highly depressing things. Anyhow, lets dig a little deeper for a reason as there usually is one(at least :P) behind something most of the times.

Some days back, a kid was drilled in the head(Yes! Literally drilled) by another, reason being allegedly the drilled one liked someone the driller didn't want him to like. And as I say "a kid" I am referring to a "6th Grader". (Shocked?) . On some another day in a different bunch of kids, A scratch on the ego of a kid proved to be fatal for his friend. Let's say that whatever these kids thought they were doing was mature, but isn't is naive to think that you are mature when you are not actually?(food for thought :P) So where from are these kids getting a notion of what is mature and what not and what is to be done to satisfy the ego issues?

The Know It All Paradox:
This is a feat of the modern day kids. (Depth Alert! Take a deep breath before continuing :P )The Know it all paradox simply states that if a person claims to know at least something about everything, then he must also know something about anything that he doesn't know. But then if he knows nothing about what he doesn't know, then he doesn't know something about everything. Moreover if he knows something about the things he doesn't know, then again he doesn't know something about everything. (Yeah right! take a moment :P )

Then there are suicide cases where kids say they are under severe pressure and can't handle it. To kid that I would say, you almost did a great job assessing the pressure. And that's all what was required of you. Nothing else that you did was actually necessary. It was not a life and death situation and was made up completely by your mind and no one else. 

And what is even worse is what they are doing is a 'mature' thing, leaving everyone alone(including themselves), escaping from the alleged pressures that they have to face every time they are doing something. However, the way they choose to do this isn't something that should be acceptable. Well to be fair enough, after being in a similar situation some day or the other, I personally feel that we can't say that everything was the kids' fault. 

The Blame Game:
Lets play a little blame game.(Yeah Like you didn't see it coming :P). Everyone (almost :P) agrees that the system, the school students are subjected to, these days is not flawless which it must be, mustn't it? I mean you are a developing country relying on the youth and are not even able to educate the youth in a proper way then what in the heaven's name will your future be? Another 45 year old Youth icon ? or another 28 year old student who claims he is poor and apparently is not doing anything for that? (Apart from sensationalizing of course :P). Or some other bunch of people who find being in their own country so 'shameful' that they shout out things about mincing of the country into pieces? 

With the economic conditions getting tougher and the parents staying out most of  the time to earn bread, it's a huge responsibility for a school to work on the moral aspect of the character of the students. But what are the schools providing? A recent case was of a Final Practical Exam where the external asked the kids to sing and dance in lieu of the viva. This was a 'reputed' so called "Urban school" from the Country Capital. Let's better not talk about what the situation in the rural areas is. Just believe me it is much more frightening.It is alleged that the isolation of the kids from their parents and the things that matter is because of the advent of technology. Kids use so much of smart things that they end up believing they are smart themselves, but sadly enough the reality is not as it appears to them.

Added to this is what is served on the Televisions and the Media these days. Agreed to the point that the kids are not forced to watch whatever is shown on the TV they can always change the channel (Of Course :P ). I prefer to bring to light the fact that after bearing with a blue cat from a Japanese TV show that teaches (yeah right ! ) stuff to the kids, the kids watch stuff which isn't even meant for them to comprehend. Crime shows do not always make them think on how will they get away from being murdered. But every time when in the end the criminal is caught, it may challenge their wit on how to get away with murder (pun intended :P ).

Where do we Go now?:
The need of the hour is to understand the disguised truth behind this depressing situation and if at all it raises your eyebrows for even a single millisecond, try thinking something that will make things better. And at the least, whenever you find an opportunity, just try to talk through the situation of a kid in distress. Because it's the future of the country we are dealing with.

-Aishwariy

India and Trypophobia.

Disclaimer: Following is a blog post based on too many "could be"s. Definitely, most of the possibilities are absurd, and are open for interpretation as well as discussion.


So, lets begin with a buzzword in the field of biological sciences from last year "Trypophobia". Trypophobia is claimed as the phenomenon of  having a phobia of regular/irregularly shaped and spaced clustered patterns. It was more commonly promoted as the fear of holes among those, who were really busy most the time (pun intended.) checking their facebook news feeds for something new. Rather lets call it on "Social Media" ... sounds official(kind of.. :P).

Trypophobia " not a phobia officially " is indeed quite absurd, Reasons being the strange hype created for it, the usage of photoshop to disguise disgust as fear, and the biggest one of all, circulating it all over the Social media to make even the narcissistic ones think for a while if they "suffer" from this phobia. This was mostly all about the issues from abroad. However, Trypophobia seems a bit more relevant to India.

In India, we have some(I understand this word is an understatement. :P ) roads that may rattle up (in either of the meanings.) any driver from the inside as well as outside. The fear can be seen on the face of the person driving the cars on such roads. The sounds of the internals of the passengers are a story that only the passengers can tell. So, this fear is quite justified, in terms of it's version in India the fear of "great Hol(e)y Roads". Its being called "trypophobia" that is close to '"trip"ophobia'(Just Assuming) fears of trips or voyages.. and the other way, fear of tripping over a hole. :P...

Having stated that, now a days, road travelers face strange kind of issues while driving. Like bloody red fluids floating around their personal spaces and on the roads, special stunts by the local biking "professionals" (pun intended.). And expert comments like "drive while looking behind.." etc.. etc... We'll come to that some other day.

Coming back to India and Trypophobia, India observes it's National flower as Lotus. This could make us call Lotus Seeds as the National Seeds.(Just Assuming.)  Trypophobia has a special relation with India in this sense as well. Lotus Pods have some sort of holes that can be described as "regularly spaced". Moreover, most of the horrifying photoshopped images making people wonder about this phobia were based on these pods, making these holes appear out of no where on strange places. This makes a really strong bond between India and Trypophobia. It could be declared as a national phobia. Although, the phobias of corruption, starvation and proper running of the parliament give it a really tough competition.

There is a very fine line between disgust and fear. You could be disgusted by the things that the people intend to show you in the name of a test for trypophobia and may even feel like throwing up. But the point is that are you really afraid? Or is it just the mind game of some notorious braggadocio that is bothering you. Its just a matter of time and thought that you give to the legitimacy of anything that you see on the Social Media. These things can simply shape up your opinions and challenge the open-mindedness, which becomes a point of vulnerability here.
So just before thinking about being scared of "holes"... just think don't you have something better to be afraid of ?

-Aishwariy.

The Clarity

When the last traces of the excess adrenaline that was released into you for reacting sanely to the Shock you just faced, start fading away, they project a sense of clarity at the back of the head.(Yeah! too deep! read that line again if needed :P (*I did :P)). This sense of clarity is something that leads to serenity. A peace "station" that you had been trying to reach since a long time, but one thing or the other bothered you.(Or maybe only you felt that they were bothering. p(bur)un intended..). The bigger question is why were you trying to reach that spot, when it was right inside your head?(Yes. Going too deep. Take a breath and continue.) Was it because you thought you would accomplish something from where you are standing right now, or maybe a few steps ahead or backwards from here? Or was it because you thought you were on the completely wrong foots (pardon for that grammar but it sounded kind of interesting :) ) all along with everything that you have been doing till now? 

Alright, no more questioning yourself. Let's get back to the point, or rather that unspoken clarity that was just obtained from the bodily chemicals. This clarity is a Game Changer. It makes you do stuff. Stuff that you think you "should". (Mind that word and think again). This clarity is probably one of the biggest driving forces ever that could get your things done by you for you, that too with you not knowing about it. fair enough? Probably yes I guess. Many people will agree too.(I can just hope.. right? :P ). 

Anyways, so what next? What after this clarity and doing all that you actually wanted? Life goes on, Right? So lets better concentrate on the Prequel, rather than the Sequel. It seems that we began with the excess Adrenaline receding. Where from it came into the picture anyways ?  From the shock. The shock that you just felt and which made the synapses go wild passing all the impulses and giving a picture(not a visual, a mental one. yeah going even deeper! :P) of how worse it could be. And its only sane to get the clarity moment after the neurons are back to senses. But the only thing to think is how sane is it to get the clarity moment only and only after the shocks? The nature keeps it all in the equilibrium.(Believe me it does!)  

Brain food is peace of mind. A sense of clarity that allows you to think. But there is no scope for the brain to become obese.(Yeah you got that right. avoid the overeating :P). There can be diverse ways in which your brain feels peaceful. Interact with it, know about it's mysteries.(Caution:Strictly figurative!)  Open it up. And get to know it better. All that you can do is make it free enough to process something. And interestingly, it can even generate it's own raw material. So better keep it healthy with some peace.

All problems "may" have some kind of connection. Maybe the solution to one will solve say another 'n' in your head. Or a miss for some problem may solve another 'K*n'.{Where K>1.}(Couldn't help with that. Math Calls :P ) You never know. But the point here is to follow a regime by which its not the "nature" or  "uncertainty" that desperately "pushes" you to a situation to bring up the clarity moment. But it's you yourself who does that. And yeah in that process try opening yourself up!! (Yeah Right..  NOT Literally!).

-Aishwariy

The Strange Turn of Events.

It all began with the Murders of Activists and Writers of the likes of M.M. Kalburgi, Govind Pansare and Narendra Dabholkar, (the former two dying more recently). Apart from the similarity in how they died, another similarity among them was that two of them were Anti-Superstition activists and one quoted something about idol worship. Yes, apparently the stuff they supported was deemed as Anti-Hindu.

Their murders triggered the "Award Returning Trend".(Yes! it wasn't just an impulsive frustrated call for gaining popularity... (initially at least.)).

Coincidentally, when all this was going on, there was another act of brutality, where a man (a muslim person) from Dadari was lynched for allegedly killing a cow. This again was deemed as Anti- Hindu.

(Just to be precise... Killing the poor Cow... and unfortunately not the Man! :| )

This was the exact point when things started getting Communal, and intolerance got mixed up with communal intolerance.

Meanwhile, gripped in unrest, many of the Artists and writers and Scientists kept returning their awards as a mark of protest against the happenings and against the ways of the Government (and Sahitya Akademi too) who did not condemn these murders, allegedly spreading a sense of insecurity among the people, who apparently wanted to be " reassured" that everything will be fine, and there's nothing to worry about.

And then all of this was continued with playing one-sided "Ink holi" with people whose views were not much appreciated by the "side".

Then this fire was given some Political oxygen for efficient Combustion during the Bihar Elections because by now, the whole attention got focussed against the Hon'ble PM of India, who was deemed as the symbol of intolerance and his party, a promoter of Intolerance.
This fire just got way too much Oxygen resulting to a majority of the Carbon-di-oxide of Bihar, getting exhaled into the Legislative Assembly.

And this brings us to the Present day. Where many are urging to boycott Aamir's movies and the goods that he Endorses.(I know right.. Way too Strange turn of Events :P ).

People feel that he said that all the people in the country are intolerant. Everyone has something to say to him(Well, Not to try to prove that they are tolerant, instead that they are not Intolerant (P.S. Yes These are different.!!!)). And things got so much heated up that a hashtag called #BuildRamMandir creeped up from nowhere and got trending.... preposterous isn't it?(Again.... Way too Strange turn of events).

This strange turn of events is nothing more than Attenuation of thoughts.

Some people started by saying that Aamir says India is intolerant and he says his wife wants to leave the country. Others added some more things to make him sound more like a traitor and forwarded the new version of the "view". And some took out some of their precious time to make a Graphical Comparison between a Martyr's widow and Aamir's wife. And then there were the remaining people... Who just saw the things, felt something (maybe :P (can't deny that... India Feels too much you know..)), and then shared the view everywhere, making misconceptions prevalent and spreading strange unrest. Very few actually bothered to go through a simple authenticity check of what was actually said. (Yes! a simple video that could be simply used to simplify the issues that were being raised.)

The main substance drifted far away from where it should have been, and the reason are the people who are ready to believe in everything that they are "told" blindly, without checking the authenticity or the reason behind it. Sounds familiar? relates to Superstitions? Doesn't it? yeah! infact it does.

So in a nutshell, right now what we are doing is something unreasonable to prove that we do not do unreasonable things, and it is exactly the "something unreasonable" which was opposed by some people who were then murdered for opposing it as according to some other people, what they were doing was something unreasonable!! peculiar.(Too big a Nutshell that was :P)

This is a really Strong Example of why literacy should just not only be about reading words and being able to operate a smartphone. Rather it should be something that enables a person to think in some direction that is actually relevant. The right to speech and freedom of expression are all disastrous unless we really understand our Responsibilities with them.

We are still in the denial phase, thinking that nothing is wrong. But actually a lot needs to be worked upon. And to start with, the least that we could do is be a bit more "Tolerant".

-Aishwariy

Round The World

Week 31 of 2015 just passed by. One of the most dramatic weeks ever. 

Monday witnessed the sad demise of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam former Indian President, a retired Scientist by profession, a Teacher by choice and most important of all, an Inspiration for the youth. The biggest highlight of this incident was his place of death...his workplace...a Stage... from where he already had enlightened so many souls and reached out to so many probable future-makers of the Nation.

His most important virtue of working for every single available minute was seen to be respected on the very next day of his death, by the Hon'ble Supreme Court, where, the hearing was held at 3 AM in the midnight regarding the mercy petition filed yet again to avoid the hanging of Yakub Memon, which was scheduled for the very next day. Eventually, the petition was scraped off "again" by the Court, and the culprit of the 1993 Mumbai Serial Blasts was hanged to death on the next or say the same day as was scheduled.The irony being his death on his birthday.

The biggest irony of this whole case was Yakub's involvement in the blasts, in spite of being a an edurite. A Chartered Accountant by profession, he was charged guilty of financing terror operations. Many controversies raised before and after his hanging. Many People came up in support of him, many came up against him, and as usual, many even came up against those who came up for him . These people included actors, Cabinet Members, MPs and even a few Governors, and last but not the least the Common Indians who have been empowered to keep their views now-a-days via the social media. Support for him was also displayed at his final crusade when he was brought back to Mumbai.

Another irony related with these incidents was the burial of Dr. Kalam and Yakub which took place on the very same day.On one hand was a person who devoted his life completely for his country and the pursuit of knowledge and the betterment of the people and the society, and on the other was one who felt just too mainstream to be loyal to his motherland, and played a role in disrupting others' lives instead, both sent off forever on the same day. However, one will stay Alive forever and keep inspiring everyone. 

These events clearly indicate, it's not just the Knowledge that matters, but the attitude does too. On a similar note the IPL spot-fixing culprits, in spite of being cleared by the court were shown no mercy by the BCCI. 

Another event of mercilessness occurred earlier this week when Gurdaspur in Punjab was struck by the terrorists on Monday,claiming the life of SP Baljeet Singh of Punjab Police, a martyr to the brutality of Terrorism. This attack was claimed to be executed by 3 gunmen, who were later claimed to be from across the border. Another attack technically not physical but mental and of similar intensity took place in Srinagar where flags of Pakistan, IS and LeT were held high over a Mosque, trying to spark up a rebellion and unrest among the people. This attack was potentially devastating to an extent equal to the other event of the Parliamentary chaos, where the House was fighting over the religion of Terrorism. The Parliamentary Panel suggested mechanism for single-window redressal to all investor Problems.

Talking about window, Windows 10 was finally Launched in India, this week.. which gained a whooping more than 14 million users all over the world within few days of launch. The highlight of this event was the homage paid to Dr. Kalam on stage, during the launch. The personality that will remain alive and keep on inspiring everyone forever... 

Coming back to Square one ... That's exactly why it's said.. Round the World.

The Next Week Awaits...
Cheers till then..

-Aishwariy